Contributed by Cain Zaunders
Member of LovedbyHer.com
My beautiful Ukraine bride has been approved to immigrate to the USA. She is the woman I dreamt about ever since I was a little boy. She is beautiful, smart, college educated, family oriented, believes in the man being the patriarch of the family, Christian values and so why do I have this “pit” in my stomach?
Meeting and marrying a Mail Order Bride is no easy ordeal.
First you have to meet them online and so I have no doubt that using LovedByHer.com as my mail order bride marriage agency was one of the best decesions that I made. They helped me not only with the translation, airlines, travel, dating, meeting the family and fiancee visa application forms they were there when I was dumped the first time (yes guys I was dumped by a Ukraine woman so dont presume your birth place will win you a model) and helped me navigate the Ukraine traditions so I didn’t committ another cultural sin and get dumped twice. But then why the pit in my stomach?
Naysayers. They are everywhere and never shut up. In the beginning it was nice to hear from them because I wanted to make sure I had a certain amount of objectivity. I didn’t want my emotions getting the best of me and waking one evening finding I”m sending my Mail Order Bride “cash”.
But, quess what? My Mail Order Bride never ask for a dime. Even when she lost her job she never ask for a dime, even when she was walking four miles to see me she never ask for a dime (the taxi ride would have been $5 USD but she never ask for the fare) and finally at Christmas she not only didn’t ask for anything she bought me a piece of jewelry that clearly set her back some heavy cash. So with all this you would think the Naysayers would shut up. Wrong.
I understand the Naysayers have never been to the Ukraine and don’t understand the kindness of the people or understand that the ladies aren’t hung up on age like we are here in America (I’m 20+ years older than my fiancee). So because of this I give them credit for their ignorance but when they tried to say my Ukraine Fiancee might suffer from bi-polar (like my American x-woman/wife) I hired a Ukraine Psychologist and my fiancee passed both a MMPI and Kiersey compatability test. Did this shut up the naysayers? It didn’t.
To meet women from the city of Upside Down Trees CLICK HERE
When my Ukraine Mail Order Bride went to her interview with the consulate the “Naysayers” said you better verify with the consulate that she really attended the meeting and was really approved and yes I did and yes she was but even then the Naysayers kept on.
I understand where the naysayers come from because I read all the time about morons that respond to a spam email where the “woman” writes that she wants to marry the man (having never seen a picture) and love him “long time” and by the way, please send “cash”, for sick mother.
Of course the American Man does and then he professes to be shocked to find out he was scammed. Pleeaasssee. Duh!
I even pointed out to a guy the other day that the Russian “girl” who was writing him was writing from a USA registered domain and the email headers showed she was in Minnesota and not Russia. But he was sure she loved him. Idiot.
Finally, I had a business associate that after being engaged to a girl in the Ukraine sent her $3,000 to purchase first class airline tickets and never heard from the girl again. (I guess he never heard of e-tickets, non-refundable fares etc.)
Meet your own beautiful Mail Order Bride Including the lady above by CLICKING HERE
And this is where the Naysayers have a toe hold. Even good people can be tempted and trust is a two way street.
You see, when you are in the Ukraine and you are dating these beautiful women it is like being in heaven. The fact that a girl of this beauty will even talk to you is beyond belief but then they linger on every word, date you like you are the President of the US and (at least in my case) come back to your place for a night cap or two or three:-) You will truly feel like you have died and gone to heaven. But trust is something that is built over time and even the best of marriage fall in and out of trust in the beginning. Here is a girl that has known you three weeks.
So as the time gets where she is suppose to get on a plane and come see you there is a knawing pit in her/your stomach. Will she get on that plane because after all she may love you but how much trust can she build in the 3-4 weeks that you spent with her.
Remember, that the consulate officer just followed the International Mail Order Brokerage Act (IMBRA) and handed her brochures about American men beating their wives and who to call if she gets beat up or has to seek a protective order (Thanks George Bush for making all of us American Men look like wife beaters! – NOT).
With those warnings fresh in her mind she has to be wondering what she is doing going to a foreign country where she doesn’t speak the language and the USA government warns women about violent American men that beat their wives.
In addiiton, your mail order bride is leaving everything that she knows and her emotional comfort zone to be with you. Even if America has more opportunity at what price must she pay for that opportunity. Beat, raped, killed, abandoned? I promise your Mail Order Bride has read the stories about Ukraine and Russian women that are forced into prostitution by their “husbands” and so can she trust you to be the man you have told her or is she flying into danger. (Remember she also has naysayers telling her not to trust you).
In addition, she is use to being able to support herself and now she will be dependent on you for clothing, food, toiletries and everything else because (until her immigration status changes) she can’t work. What if you are everything that you have said you are and in fact you are deeply in love with her but within the first 90 days (under K-1 immigration law the marriage must take place within 90 days or she must return to her country) you change your mind?
“Great sex baby but hit the road I have changed my mind!” Now what? She has given up her job, her flat and everything she has known to be cast aside by you. This is where the naysayers have their last chance at victory. Because surely your mail order bride is scared. After all her naysayers remind her of Anastasia King who was beaten and killed by an American Man.
Remember, these are all thoughts that the lady will go through and something you must be prepared to handle. Because in the end if the lady gets scared and doesn’t show up the naysayers win. They will swear that you were a victim of a scam from day one. They will forget that many American engagements never end in marriage and so on and so forth.
As for you the pit in your stomach becomes a ball and the ball develops into indigestion which leaves you eating ice cream at 2:00 a.m. counting the minutes until your Mail Order Bride Arrives.
For the naysayers do they ever shut up? You tell me.
For in my case my Ukraine fiancee has gone through hell and back to prove that she truly wants to spend her life with me. She has taken a MMPI, Kiersey compatability exam, English lessons, written or text every day for 13 months and never ask for a dime. If the naysayers continue their naysaying what they are doing becomes a self fullfilling prophecy because they will make your mail order bride feel unwelcome, unwanted and eventually she will leave . . .
So how do you shut up a naysayer? You tell me . . . .
Tags: american men, children in divorce, Dating, divorce, foreign women, International Dating, kiev, love, Mail Order Brides, marrying foreigners, melitopol, mexican mail order brides, relationships, russian women russian woman, sex, Sexy Russian Women, ukraine, Ukraine Women, Zaporojie
February 10, 2009 at 9:31 pm |
i love ukr
March 2, 2009 at 5:43 am |
Im curious how did everything turn out??
zb